I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
