I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have post one night stand depression
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