i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
