We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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