We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize