dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
