My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize