my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize