my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I AM VODKA MAN
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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