shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
