he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize