he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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