I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
