There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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