It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize