Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
