forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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