i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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