I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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