he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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