It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
