where am i from again
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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