just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
