So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
