my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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