toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
