Who wears a wallet chain?!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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