So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
