Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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