Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
