His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
