just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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