Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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