I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
