well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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