I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize