erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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