he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
