I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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