def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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