So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
