Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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