Already got asked if we're dating
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
