I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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