Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
