naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize