They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What a dumb baby whore.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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