I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
