Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just tell him i said nine months
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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