She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
