I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
