I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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