I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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