just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
