HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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