i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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