Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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