ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The uberlube is also flammable
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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