and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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