I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My sheets look like a crime scene.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
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