yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
