So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Randomize
