Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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