i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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