office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
