My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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