Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
