summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
